Conversational Collage

Like, I am sooo lonely So terribly miserably lonely
Yeah. I mean, I love what people see in me
Like they see this charismatic, outgoing, witty chick who is hopefully refreshingly different. Brains and takes care of herself.
But I am so lonely for lack of people who actually know me.
Like what about the people who know me as the deep-thinking, open-hearted, poetic romantic that has a philosophy for all things and a soul for humanity? A deep and abiding understanding of the human condition and emotional intelligence to spare.
People like my best friends like Silver and Desai, Josh, Allen, and [insert boyfriend here]
I come home to no one.
I hate it so much! Even when I lived in Somerset, at least I had a bf.
Now I come home to none of those people and no boyfriend.
Most people don't want to give it—the time it takes to invest in someone amazing.
People who want my number want the glittery short dress that dances dirty and has blonde hair and nice makeup.
In class, people want to conquer the chick with the bike.
People who seem genuinely interested, I am always disheartened when I imagine that chances are, they're only investing hoping to get with me
I don't talk to this one guy I know because I have the hots for him...I am talking to him because there's some part of me that hopes that what I'm seeing is at least partly a kindred spirit…and not an enlisted jackass.
I lived my whole life coming home to people. I came home to my mom, then at least I had a boyfriend when I came home to no one (which is one of the darker periods of my life) and then I came home to Allen, Josh, and Patty.
Now all of them are gone. I know Allen is coming home soon, but I am lonely right now.
And yeah I see my besties, but I want someone home with me. The house needs to feel in social, loving feng shui
I don't want a lover or a boyfriend or whatever. I want a companion
Because what can anyone say to us?
"Wait." That's it.
I got two hott guys' numbers today.
Doesn't mean shit to me.
None of it means shit to me.
I want someone to climb mountains with me, drive at night, get coffee, talk for hours.
Yeah. Lots in common with them. But still, what would they care about the person I am? probably nothing.
Yeah, I just need those loving, caring people in my house.
Otherwise...my house just isolates me in a painful analogy to how isolated I feel inside.